It’s dangerous to go it alone in spiritual matters. Good advice from an old friend. My grandmother used to talk about people stewing in their own juices and that is just what happens to me when I become my own spiritual director. An awful strange brew is the result.
This happens from time to time. My attention to the matter is finally captured when I realize that the free-floating anxiety and nameless dread, which accompany my particular brand of self direction, are back. Time to get some proper direction, to run things by another person, a good guide along the path with experience both coming and going.
Speaking freely to another who is unsentimental and disinterested, who is neither judge nor therapist, is a great boon at this point. Patterns are revealed, motivations exposed, burdens unconsciously carried lifted. I feel a great sense of relief.
Making progress in the spiritual life requires regular work. When I rest too long on previous gains they evaporate. Seeing a spiritual director, making my confession, keeping faith with tried and true practices–this is my work. Then my meditations, recitations of the Divine Offices, participation in the Eucharist, and sense of community are imbued with the joy and gratitude upon which I truly rely.
For me these days, nothing less will do.
Amen, Sister. Preach it!